wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
