it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
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I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
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I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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