So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
