Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
