my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize