She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
