Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
is it fun? or sober?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
