Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Two words: nipple clamps
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