it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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