made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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