It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
