Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
