Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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