Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
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you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
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My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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