He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
