I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
