so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
