Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
