the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
