wanna go halves on a baby?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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