I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
