So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
