I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
