You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize