do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
