Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
