Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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