dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
