So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
