My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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