My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So. Much. Porn.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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