Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
