Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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