I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
as a side note pls kill me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
