im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize