Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
