Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
