her vagine was all disorganized.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
