come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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