I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
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I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
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You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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