i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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