a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
