He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
