There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
