Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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