your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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