Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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