So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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