I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
