if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
