dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
