lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize