I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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