ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
