life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
