turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
