so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
