It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
