Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
