Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
