Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Damn victory sex feels great
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
