Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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