i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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