I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sext me about skeletons
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize