I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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