Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
