I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
