You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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