He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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